I don’t know Brian and I don’t know how he defines success, but judging by his bio he probably primarily means success in the sense of successfully starting and scaling businesses.
So reading between the lines, I think he’s commenting on the growing trend of mindful drinking within the tech and entrepreneurship communities in particular, especially as it relates to operating at higher levels of productivity.
Is drinking alcohol net helpful or net harmful to those working toward success in business?
For now, let’s set aside the general health reasons for consuming less alcohol and discuss just its relationship with business success.
It’s no secret that much of business success is determined not by actual output and work product but by relationships and influence. To that end, the social bonds formed over drinks can certainly have a positive effect on business success.
However, thanks to the 700+ booze-free spirits, wines, beers, cocktails, etc. on the market in 2023, adults can now have those social bonding moments over non-alcoholic drinks almost as easily as they can have them over boozy drinks. They may not have a fat-washed Lyre’s Highland Malt whiskey cocktail on the menu but even the least progressive dive bar in America can make you a bitters & soda with lime.
We can have our cake and eat it too.
“Yeah but it’s not the same!”
Perhaps the inebriation itself helps to create even deeper social bonds. E.g., “We each lowered our guard and voluntarily made ourselves less able to filter ourselves. That mutual defenselessness creates even more trust and a deeper connection between us.”
I acknowledge there’s validity to that, at least from my personal experience. I don’t know if many of my college friendships especially would be as deep and strong as they are now without those past moments of mutual intoxication and the trust and connection they engendered.
Three counterpoints though:
- We’re not in college anymore.
- While you may be right if everything goes perfectly, inebriation’s potential for relationship damage exceeds its potential for relationship deepening, especially in business.
- Success isn’t just about social bonds. We also have work to do tomorrow morning and being clear headed and high minded tonight and tomorrow morning is going to help us do our best work.
I’ve never been a smoker, but I have always envied smokers for the social bonding that can take place over a simple cigarette, whether it be between business colleagues, friends or even complete strangers.
“Psst, you want to sneak out of here for a moment and grab a cigarette together?”
If one were to set out to design the perfect social bond creating moment, you’d have a hard time doing better than the cigarette break.
First, it’s low time commitment. 10-15 minutes. Even if you have the worst conversation of your life, it’s over in a few minutes. If the opposite happens and you find yourself in a fascinating conversation, there’s nothing stopping you from continuing. It’s a soft time constraint that gives you the boundary if you want it but doesn’t force a hard stop.
Second, there’s no phone to distract you. You’re present and fully in the moment with your companion(s). So many conversations these days happen with phone screens (and their notifications) in view that it’s especially beneficial to occupy your hands with something else, like a cigarette and a lighter, to prevent those hands from reaching for a phone.
Third, there’s something about the mindless task of holding a drink (and, I presume, a cigarette) in one hand that has a way of distracting parts of the mind so that other parts of the mind can bloom. In my experience, this can in subtle ways inspire creative thinking and problem-solving.
Fourth, you’re typically in a second location. There’s something about even the most mundane of second locations that adds novelty and gravitas to an interaction if that second location is chosen intentionally.
As an aside, non-smokers can use this too. “Hey, can we talk for a minute over by the copy machine/patio/entrance to Space Mountain?” Moving to a different location, even if completely arbitrary, makes the conversation more significant.
Fifth, you’re a part of a select, smaller group. Socializing is fun when people can freely flow between groups large and small, so it’s fun to break from the big group for a short time, then rejoin it, then break again with a different smaller group, etc.
So while I personally find cigarettes disgusting, I do want to create social bonds with you via a nice little time-bounded conversation while I distract parts of my mind by holding a cigarette and ignoring our phones. Maybe my next business will be placebo cigarettes.
Back to drinking and socializing over drinks, I’m incredibly thankful for the emergence of the adult non-alc drinks industry that enables me to form social bonds over drinks without becoming intoxicated. Enjoying the benefits of drinking without the downsides almost feels like cheating. I love being able to have my cake and eat it too.
I think Brian’s right that you can drink and also be successful. I know at least that you can drink and work toward becoming successful.
